I wish I could be writing a race report or a training update or a story with a happy ending, instead of a tale of heartbreak and sorrow. In contrast to 2014, a year that exceeded expectations, 2015 has been a year of disappointment as I watched my dreams seemingly fade away. It can often be said that ‘things get worse before they get better,’ and unfortunately this aphorism has come true and I find myself stuck in a transition; and not the scenario of my recurring nightmare of literally being stuck in T1 or T2. My life has drastically changed in the last couple months, and I am in the transition between a sad ending and a new beginning.
At first, I found myself feeling ambivalent towards triathlon because of my grief. All of this, in conjunction with my continued frustration with my long-lasting injury, caused me to question if I really wanted to continue on in the sport. Fortunately, my passion for training and competing has returned, and I am regaining my health and my fitness. I have also been reminded that this is a dream I am pursuing for myself and no one else.
In this life transition, I have moved back home to a supportive and familiar environment. It has been nice to take some time for myself and reflect on what I want in life, and more importantly what I deserve. Having learned many valuable life lessons, tough lessons I never thought I would have to learn, I am looking forward to the opportunities that I have as I blaze my own trail instead of just following a prefabricated pathway. I am cautiously optimistic that the second half of 2015 will be better than the first, and there will be a story with a happy ending to tell.
Spoiler alert: a race report will be coming before too long :)